So here in this video No I would just like to take a little bit of time to really lay down and hopefully
help you to define the purpose of life coaching because there's often a little bit of confusion especially
amongst many of their helping disciplines and modalities in terms of what coaching is what coaching
is and what coaching should be and what coaching certainly cannot be.
So first things first and I'm going to boldly suggest that life coaching is certainly not and cannot
be about advice giving i.e. telling people what to do.
This is a big no no definitely not.
We can't go doing that.
Reason being.
All right.
Think about how many times in your life you have enjoyed being on the receiving end of advice.
All right.
No there's two ways you can look at this.
Sometimes we will approach people and ask them for advice and then sometimes people will just simply
advise us or try to advise us when we haven't asked for it at all.
We would refer to this as unsolicited advice.
Well I don't know about you but there's an idea then and the presuppositions of their helping disciplines
and this is that responsibility breeds empowerment.
And what I mean by this is that the more responsibility we take on a day to day basis for our selves
for our goals our ambitions for our flaws or imperfections for growing the more empowered we become
to change and grow and develop and make decisions make wise decisions.
So advice giving doesn't really come into this.
Think about it.
If I was just to stand here right now and give you a whole lot of advice about what you should do as
a life coach and how would you set up your business and how you should do this and how you should speak
to clients then what I'm not really encouraging you to do is engage with your own mind and work stuff
out for yourself.
The right since video were one of suggested that through this course I'm going to present you with a
whole lot of principles and ideas but how you apply them is gonna be pretty much down to you.
All right.
This is for you've got to work out for yourself because when we're dealing with human beings here it's
not like there's a one size fits all approach that we can take to getting life right.
There isn't.
And life isn't just like one month is it.
Life is broken down into many many different areas we've got are our relationships or intimate relationships
personal relationships social professional relationships.
We've got our career with car educational aspirations we've got our business or profession we've then
got relationships with children or spouses family color what you want the Zen our personal finances
some people are great at managing the finances other people aren't.
Then there's us managing ourselves i.e. managing ourselves on an emotional level.
We then have our routine responsibilities.
We've got our degree of contribution back into the world.
I mean think about it.
If a person is contributing back and making a real difference of generally going to feel quite fulfilled.
But if this person who's contributing and giving back and his personal finances is an absolute tatters
then of course the life is out of balance.
So what I'm saying is as life coaches we're not here to advise people we're not here to tell people
what we think we should do.
And the reason for this being is because advice is generally always subjective and by this what I mean
is that I could give you all the advice right now but the only advice I could give you would be based
upon what I myself would do.
Which isn't necessarily what you should do.
Some sense of a distinction here so advice giving can sometimes flow over into teaching or lecturing
which isn't all go.
Coaching certainly isn't teaching isn't it teaching teaching or lecturing either all right.
Teaching people how to live life.
Reason being is because there are no gurus.
Yes there are some people in the world who would make themselves known to be gurus.
And yes there are multiple ways in which the world.
The word guru can be interpreted but the way that I see guru and what I see guru meaning are those people
who make themselves out to have all the answers.
All right to have the secrets and the keys of what it takes to live in effect of life and I'm going
to suggest that we're all simply working things out.
So teaching and lecturing certainly isn't part of the life coaching process.
Sometimes it can be good to offer people some insights or some ideas or some suggestions but again only
once we've had the buy in from them.
So professional consulting.
This is a big no no as well.
So coaching people in life.
No.
We've always seen the advert so I have anyway over the years.
This is just maybe because Google and Facebook and you know fix the ads however they do that too.
So the tailored to my preferences.
But I've seen it time and time again you have people making themselves out to be the life coaching master
gurus and they'll say you know take my master class is gonna cost you ten thousand dollars and I'll
teach you how to become six figure life coach and all that or all that kind of thing.
Well to be honest with you I have never encountered or worked with anyone and I've worked with a lot
of people over the years.
All right who actually won professional consulting and know that our professional consultants who would
do well working in a professional context but life coaching is very very different from this life coaching
is very very different it's personal personal is different from professional all right so it's important
that you get clear it might be the case that you want to go on to become a professional consultant.
It might be the case that you even want to go on to become a business coach or something like this.
But remember even if you are working with professionals or what is professional even mean professionals
are still people.
People who are still alive.
Which means that if as long as the past is still alive and they are wanting some assistance or some
guidance then your coaching principles are still going to be relevant for them.
So yes if you want to get on this road you can do is entirely up to you.
You can offer a high price service but I'm going to suggest that life coach the way that I'm going to
present it through this course is about helping people to live in the most effective way and make the
right decisions for them at any given time or situation.
What life coaching also isn't is not counseling and it's not therapy.
All right.
No I am having again worked in this industry for quite a number of years.
You get people in this industry who like to call themselves healers and therapists and therapy is a
very very broad term that can be used to mean pretty much anything these days.
I was recently shorn of a video by someone that I know and a person offering cuddle therapy and this
is where I am a middle aged woman.
I think she was in our midst mid 50s would lie on a doctor's sofa behind a guy in his mid twenties and
just cuddle him and that was a cuddle therapy.
No I'm not sure it has any qualifications required for that all right but what I'm going to encourage
you to do in your life coaching is keep things practical keep things pragmatic.
Why.
Because people are generally looking for solutions of a person's life as in work in the way that they
want to.
And all the cuddles in the world might make them feel nice and secure in the short term but it certainly
isn't gonna help them to to take the action steps that they need to take that are going to enable them
to live a far more fruitful and effective life.
So coaching is in counseling is not therapy.
You don't have to heal anyone.
Why.
Because let's buy into the assumption that no one's broken and that no one needs fixed.
No I'm going to present you with an idea in the next section is called the the drama triangle.
All right the various mindsets that people operate from.
Some people like to see themselves as being the victim in life.
No this is true.
Right.
You're going to you're going to find this out very very quickly for yourself.
The second you set up a life coach and practice.
Some people will come to you and from a place of empowerment where they genuinely are just looking for
a little bit of input to help them make some decisions and then as soon as they've made these decisions
are going to be if you're gonna be away from I am doing the thing whereas other people are waiting for
someone to fix them or heal them or help them or make some decisions for them or advise them or teach
them or guide them or do life for them.
A report I'm gonna just suggest is this is a very very disempowered way of living life until a person
takes full responsibility for themselves for their flaws for the failures on the part that they've played
in actually getting the life results of an all happy with or the never gonna become empowered to do
anything about those things.
Are you with me.
So.
Counseling is great.
No what I do.
I'm actually a trained counsellor as well.
I also train teach counselling and there's some some excellent counselling skills that we can use when
life coaching but it's not counselling within itself.
So that's it.
That's what counts.
That's what life coaching isn't.
All right.
But let's look at what it actually is.
Well the way that I like to see coaching is coaching is more about me offering a client.
I am another set of eyes looking at their life from an objective perspective just to simply look at
what they're looking at and ask them the questions that they most likely aren't asking themselves.
Reason being reason why I want to fulfil this role is because everyone has goals in life.
Doesn't matter whether they're big goals or whether they are small goals it's the coaching process and
this has been really really simplifying it here to help you understand what it is we're going to be
unpacking through the rest of the course.
Every life coaching relationship is always going to start with a goal it has to.
The goal has to be something tangible something achievable something timely something real something
realistic and something actual as well.
So clients who come along and saying I just want my anxiety to go away.
Well that's not a goal that's a person focusing more upon what they don't want than of what they do.
That's a difference between negative motivations and positive motivations which again I'll unpack and
the core values section of the course.
So what we've got to be doing first and foremost is as coaches is establishing with our clients what
their goal actually is.
If they don't have a goal Well there's not really too much that we can do to help them fulfil this goal.
Then what we also need to then establish is what the reality is for them.
Because some clients when they're talking about their reality what they will give voice to is their
perception.
Nor am I am just in this hole in life I am stuck I'm lost I'm useless I'm worthless I can't do this
I can't do that and the whole world's against me.
Yeah I'm giving you some pretty extreme examples here of what we want to be doing pretty quickly is
just cutting through all of the generalizations and the cognitive distortions and the deletions our
clients are making inside of their mind just to establish what their current reality actually is.
For example if the goal is to set up a business or is to start a family then with any test to establish
what is their current reality the current reality is that they don't have a family that currently in
a role that they don't want that they don't enjoy it doesn't fulfil them.
Something like this and then we just simply need to identify options.
OK.
Because if a person doesn't feel like they have options in life then they're pretty much going to feel
without hope for a bigger and brighter future.
And remember sometimes we can all get trapped in the limitations of our own perception.
All right.
This is where we can just simply by asking questions such as What are your options.
We can then provoke our clients to simply look at options that they may not previously have even thought
about or considered or seen.
So this is us no just offering the second set of eyes.
We're not advising we're not teaching them we're not telling them about all the other options that they
have.
We've got to be empowering our clients to look and see these things for themselves because it's only
once we are able to recognise and identify the extent of the options that are actually open to us in
life that we're able to go with the choices and the options that we actually want to make.
So what action steps will you take next.
Well once we've established all the options are for our clients more then it's quite simple isn't it.
What action steps will you take.
What action step would you like to take though.
How many people do you know have ended up getting into some sort a career or some sort of life path
because they were told or they believe that it was just a sensible option.
How many budding artists or musicians never followed their passions or the dreams because they never
thought that they would be any good at doing this thing that we're passionate about.
Instead they played it safe.
It became an accountant.
I'm not dissing you if you're an accountant here.
I'm just saying.
All right.
Or they said they went to study medicine or study law or they went to you know do something really really
practical and most people do this because they don't feel that they are going to be able to accomplish
and achieve the things that they really want to accomplish achieve in life.
So this is when people come precaution.
We want to help people identify the extent of the options that are available to them and then simply
decide what action steps they're going to take next.
You see it's absolutely pointless having a goal if we don't have a range of options in front of us that
we can see that we can take and then if we do not decide what action steps are actually going to take
we're never going to get any closer from where we're at or where we want to be.
And there's a there's an ideas called innovative visualization.
Now remember I think I mentioned about three videos ago that a person with a vision will perish.
This is something that we want to be doing with our clients pretty much within session one.
All right.
Now I'll give you an example of this a little bit later on so you can see this is just one conversation
by the way.
All right.
And say for example when I'm working with a client in session number one I want them to leave session
about one with a tangible practical vision on for others that they actually want more often than life.
So if a client comes to me and say I'm having problems in my marriage I've got problems in my career
I'm at this crossroads in life I don't know what I what I want to do then a successful outcome for me
is then I'm going to be walking away with a vision of what is going to be like once they've got what
they want even if at the start of the session they don't know what they want.
Everyone knows what they want at the deepest level.
The only problem that people have is that they don't believe they're capable of getting what they want.
They don't believe that they are able to achieve what they want.
And this is kind of what brings us back to the idea of limiting beliefs that are mentioned in video
one or two of the course we can set goals as many goals as we want to.
But if we're not working with people on a police level we're helping them to establish the facts about
what they're actually capable off then most people will never even take the first step towards pursuing
what they want more off in their future.
Has this work.
What I've done my best to do here is give you a very very broad overriding picture of the life coaching
process.
Now this is just going to be for one goal for one issue for one problem.
But bear in mind when we're looking at the extent of people's lives there are multiple life areas all
sorts of different aspects of life.
But this is one very very simple process and we can take to lead people from where they're out when
they first come to us and we'll write wet behind the ears when they come to us and our life coach and
front doors to establishing what the goal is what the reality is of where there are what they want what
the best options are what action steps they can take next.
And then we're going to get them to visualize them actually have an accomplished this goal that they
initially came to us with.
So this is the purpose of life coaching to start with in the very early stages is just about us really
working with our clients to get them to picture or thoughts or to to visualize a picture or a day in
their future where they're actually going to have this thing that they want because believe it or not
people naturally gravitate towards those things and in life that they can visualize the sight of their
own minds and people without vision and life will generally go round and round in circles for anything
up to a lifetime.
So in order for us to really help our clients start taking steps and moving forward in their lives we've
got to help them to grasp a vision inside of their own mind's eye on for others that they aren't really
one more off on the direction that they can travel in here with me and what I just explained as well.
So we've looked at quite a bit here.
We've looked at what life coaching isn't.
We've looked at the purpose of life coaching i.e. what it should really be used for but don't worry
if you if this doesn't all really sunk in just yet.
I'm going to be unpacking all of this and a lot more depth and the sections that follow anyway so we'll
wrap this video up for now.
When I look forward to seeing you again in the next.